Things you didn't know about women

Esquire Magazine had some women celebrities write down "things you didn't know about women." Halirious!

1. Superskinny women really irritate us. We hate when they say, "Sometimes I just forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my anniversary and where I parked my car. But I've never forgotten to eat. -- Sela Ward

2. Women like porn, too. We just hate it when you hide the porn. -- Alyssa Milano

3. Women remember everything . Don't believe me? Ask your girlfriend where you met. She won't tell you it was at a party. She'll say it was a Thursday, she had just come from dinner, where she ate a veggie burger, and she was wearing her friend Cathy's pink top, which was big on her because Cathy is a big girl. You were wearing a blue button-down, drinking a Jack and Coke with two straws, and talking to Bill, that mutual friend. She waved and you gave her the "what's up" nod. This still infuriates her. ("How could you give me the nod?") -- Alyssa Milano

4. We think it's weird when you watch sports and concentrate to help your team. -- Alyssa Milano

5. No matter how much your woman loves you, there are going to be three to seven days each month when she wants you dead. (She may even quietly fantasize about turning her eyelash curler against you.) You have two options: Tie yourself to a tree and wait out the storm, or stock up at Tiffany's, toss a blue box or two into the wind, and hope for the best. We recommend the latter. (The key chain doesn't count.) -- Alyssa Milano

6. It's the circumference, stupid! The numerical measurement of the bra has nothing to do with the size of our boobs. -- Jennifer Coolidge

7. You say: "I'm intense." We hear: "I'm a psycho." -- Jennifer Coolidge

8. The fact that you hesitate before using our razor because it's pink and that might make you seem gay is equal parts cute and pathetic. -- Jennifer Coolidge

9. When the car won't start and you do nothing but open the hood, there's a 40 percent chance it will start on the second try. Men will always act like they fixed it. We know and accept this. -- Jennifer Coolidge

10. Never take credit for something we actually did. Unless that something is farting. We'll never raise our hands there. -- Jennifer Coolidge

11. Shaving down there doesn't make your equipment look any bigger. It does make it more manageable, however, which improves the chances of us admiring your manscaping. -- Jennifer Coolidge

12. When you say, "All I did was kiss her":
a) You are already in trouble.
b) We know it isn't true. -- Paget Brewster

13. Women over the age of twenty-two almost never get pregnant by surprise. If she wants to keep the baby and marry you immediately, you are, in fact, being trapped. -- Paget Brewster

14. We can pee standing up, but it's not pretty. -- Felicity Huffman

15. If you would just listen to us, we'd shut up. -- Felicity Huffman

16. Want sex? Fix something. -- Felicity Huffman

17. You would be crazy, too, if your insides fell out every twenty-eight days. -- Felicity Huffman