Fat

Obviously the writer has not lived/worked in Asia...

Please click the lime colored link => Stress = fat

Cha-Ching

I was catching up with Amanda earlier this week and she mentioned how great it would be to win the lottery. Um, hell ya to that! Then the musical chimes kicked in and I started to day dream about 'what if I won the lottery!?'

I'm a 'realistic day dreamer', so let's say I hit the million dollar (US$) jackpot.

First things first, stupid house = stupid mortgage. Check.

What do I do with 750k? I'ma buy another house -- this time in America. Check.

Yes, I'm aware 750K can't get me shit in New York, Chicago, SF... so might as well stick to what you know. Seattle, it's not like you're the last kid picked for dodgeball, its just compared to the other cities, you're more of a 'value for money' type location.

I'm single. I don't really need a house-house with front and back yards that I know will just be a communal shitting ground for the neighborhood dogs. So I'm opting for a loft. I'm guessing 500k? Check.

Sweet, 250k left. Do I invest? Psh, this is freakin day dream so of course I'm gonna piss it all away on crap I don't need.

George Foreman Grill. Check.
TiVo. Check.
Snuggie. Check.
Hello Kitty Mah Jong Set. Check.

250,000 faux dollars and that's all I can come up with. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you all. Hmm, I wonder if I can buy an island somewhere in SE Asia with 250k? I can sense you nodding in agreement with me that the island buying is a kickass idea.

High-five!

Ingenious Plan

Amanda recommended that I blog this -- who knows, I may gather a new following b/c of it.

This is a true story in the works:

Once upon a time in early 2010, I made a list of new year resolutions and one of the items on that list was to get married -- to any guy .. this year.

Why this proposal? My mom's been nagging me ever since puberty on finding a nice boy, settling down and popping babies out. My reaction has always been a 'this ain't the 50's' or 'you want kids, you pop them out!' sorta thing.

Even this whole house buying thing was a scheme of hers to have me one step closer to matrimony. For the record, I'm not against marriage, I'm just enjoying the single life in one of the busiest cities in the world.

I'll be turning the big 3-0 next year and if my math serves me right, I was 6 years old when my mom was 30. Scary thought aint' it? There could be a mini me in grade school eating glue b/c 1+1 is just too damn hard!!

Anyway, back to the plan. The plan, as stated before, is to get married. I'm not even picky. The guy can be any guy. Asian, Ukrainian, 1 eyed show pirate in vegas etc... as long as he's living, breathing and able say 'I do', its all good.

We'll have a quick n dirty wedding and 3-6 months down the line, an even quicker divorce. The whole point is to use this as an excuse for future questionings.

IE

Mom: Are you dating anyone?

Me: No, I'm still not over the last relationship.. The divorce was too painful.

Mom: Hmm.

I'm thinking this excuse will last a good 3-5 years.

Woot!

Monday mornings usually mean Monday blues. But once in a blue moon (har har) there's always an exception -- like today.

I can't stop smiling. This ranks up there with baby Kouen.

What can I say? Woot! Woot!