It's been a little over month since Tien passed. I was back for her memorial service and too many surreal moments, too many tears but a lot of laughter as well. No 'ah-ha' realizations or wanting a drastic change; its to continue living the best life possible and be happy.
I can't explain grieving -- we each handle it differently and a part of me still hasn't accepted that she's gone. I think of her every day, wondering what she's up to, what she's eating, where she's vacationing and then I catch myself and remember that that is just wishful thinking.
Tien left a list of bucket list items that we're ticking off one by one. It's mostly food items and one hot air balloon ride that I'm planning to do for her within this year.
I miss you friend.
Moving forward but not moving on.
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Tuesday, April 02, 2019
SURGE!
My friend, Andrew, whom I refer to as Campus Creeper, introduced me to Bitcoin early last year. He's an early adopter and made his fair share when BC was still in the early stages. When BC got below $7K, he sent me a note and said it was good time to invest. I took to his words and bought $500 worth + another $500 by default + another $600 for luck (AKA greed). What I didn't know was that BC is like playing the stocks (which I don't do).
Buy low, sell high!
I thought it was a long term investment and idiotically and optimistically waited for it to hit $19K again. Oh, what a fool I was/am. Throughout the months, when I should have sold, I waited and when I did sell, it went back up the following week. After 6 months of BC toying with my emotions and me checking the app every 5 mins, like a tween, pining for a return text, I was down $946.40. I could've gotten a new phone with that cash.
Anyway, the surge is happening now and I just couldn't resist. I checked yesterday and the price was around $4k, today at lunch was $4.6K (which made me antsy to buy) and after lunch, it went up to $4.8K. I bit the bullet and used the remaining $653.60 and bought BC.
Yes, I am somewhat still greedy, but mostly hoping to just break even. But learnings from the past have me worried that the surge will plateau soon and BC will go back to $4K. I hate BC. It's a toxic friend I have yet learned to drop.
But for now, surge, baby, surge!
Buy low, sell high!
I thought it was a long term investment and idiotically and optimistically waited for it to hit $19K again. Oh, what a fool I was/am. Throughout the months, when I should have sold, I waited and when I did sell, it went back up the following week. After 6 months of BC toying with my emotions and me checking the app every 5 mins, like a tween, pining for a return text, I was down $946.40. I could've gotten a new phone with that cash.
Anyway, the surge is happening now and I just couldn't resist. I checked yesterday and the price was around $4k, today at lunch was $4.6K (which made me antsy to buy) and after lunch, it went up to $4.8K. I bit the bullet and used the remaining $653.60 and bought BC.
Yes, I am somewhat still greedy, but mostly hoping to just break even. But learnings from the past have me worried that the surge will plateau soon and BC will go back to $4K. I hate BC. It's a toxic friend I have yet learned to drop.
But for now, surge, baby, surge!
Thursday, March 14, 2019
It is what it is
Since the last entry (back in 2016), I can thankfully say Taobao was not the end of me.
Don't get me wrong, TB is on my frenemy list, but my lackluster desire to accumulate crap is my ultimate savior.
Its been a month since CNY holiday and I'm still learning how to process and deal with the fact that my dear friend of 25+ years has stage 4 lung cancer. I wasn't expecting the on and off flood of emotions -- anger, sadness, not knowing what to do or say, but mostly just anger. I've been trying to figure out the root of the anger, but so far, I have no answers.
I've been purposely anti social and avoiding people/the topic whenever possible as it is my preferred method of coping with things. I did find some solace in talking with the circle of friends from high school and for brief moments, break free of the dark and twisty monotonous bubble I've been in.
2nd treatment is coming up along with a not so great update. It is what it is.
Fuck cancer.
Don't get me wrong, TB is on my frenemy list, but my lackluster desire to accumulate crap is my ultimate savior.
Its been a month since CNY holiday and I'm still learning how to process and deal with the fact that my dear friend of 25+ years has stage 4 lung cancer. I wasn't expecting the on and off flood of emotions -- anger, sadness, not knowing what to do or say, but mostly just anger. I've been trying to figure out the root of the anger, but so far, I have no answers.
I've been purposely anti social and avoiding people/the topic whenever possible as it is my preferred method of coping with things. I did find some solace in talking with the circle of friends from high school and for brief moments, break free of the dark and twisty monotonous bubble I've been in.
2nd treatment is coming up along with a not so great update. It is what it is.
Fuck cancer.
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