Voices

No, I am not hearing voices in my head--at least not now anyway.

I've been helping a co-worker edit his college application and 1 recommendation letter turned into 3, plus, he asked if I could revise his friend's application as well. I've become the English Bitch at work. Damn! (don't worry, I'm being paid)

Anyhoo, his friend called me earlier and he has a pretty nice voice! I'm looking at his resume and his current job is a DJ--go figure~ I wonder if he's cute. hMmmm. Oh snap, I know where he lives---scary...

Last week, Amanda and I treated ourselves to massages and I think I have a mini crush on my massuse! He's not that cute (very local looking), but there's something about him~~~ interesting.

Addicted to coffee

I'm stuck in a routine. Every morning my alarm rings at 8:05am, but I linger in bed till 8:45am, making it a must to rush in order to punch in before 9:30am. I turn on my computer, log onto to msn and head to McDonalds for their NT$39 breakfast. I like to switch it up a bit, you know, Sausage McMuffin on Monday, bagel on Tuesday, the weird ham/eggs/special sauce on Wednesday, etc. But I always take it with coffee. Cream & sugar? Make it 2 each.

I check my mail and read gossip columns while enjoying my calorie packed breakfast and fuck around some more before I do actual work. Of course there are times when the client will call and interupt 'my special time'(like just now), boo to that!Shoot, what did she say again? Eh, it's a good thing I wrote it down--somewhere. Whatever.

I've been shopping for a laptop for the longest time. I finally decided on one, called them to make sure they had'em in stock, sent in my info/credit card number and then wham bam, they're out of stock! WTF?!

On a different note, I've been noticing that a lot of the Taiwanese guys are assholes. They're majorly rude, disrepectful and full of'em themselves. It's just astonishing that they have girlfriends. Taiwanese girls, wtf are you thinking??

Note to self: never settle.

Tag, I'm it...

I've been tagged by Da Nai, aka Astri, to list 5 weird/random things about me. (like y'all didn't know already)

1. One of my biggest pet-peeve is waiting for people. In my own experiences I've come to realize that you must tell people dinner's at 6:30pm when its actually at 8pm. (it's called your freakin cell phone! it has the ability to tell time and to call people that you're running late--amazing huh?)

2. I got so obssessed with friendster when I first signed on that it was literally my life-line. I remember staying up late into the night, thinking to myself "just one more friend!". I'm glad I've gained the self-control now and friendster is just something I did in the past...

3. One of my favourite pasttime is going to a bookstore, plop on a comfy sofa and read as many gossip magazines my brain can handle.

4. My appetite and my brain are as one. When my brain tells me I'm full, I am full. When my brain tells me to eat, I will scrounge for food. When my brain tells me to shit, cuz I've eaten too much, I will shit. My brain is very smart. My brain looks out for numero-uno. I 'heart' my brain.

5. I aspire to travel to all the continents. (yes, even antartica--mmm, maybe not, living in alaska was close enough)

I have no clue in who reads this blog, so I can't really tag anyone. Damn you!!
Since Astri already tagged Josh (ha-ha!), I'm tagging EVERYONE else! Muahahahaha~

Joke of the month

THREE WOMEN - ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY - WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. " I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMEN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER BEHIND. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID, "WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTIN' A FAX."

lunch break

1. Do you like chinese food? It's in my blood

2. How big is your bed? twin (you may laugh)

3. Is your room clean? ha~

4. Laptop or Desktop computer? a dying laptop at home and a virus filled desktop at work (hope the IT guy doesn't read this)

5. Favorite comedian? too many to list

6. Do you smoke? Nope

7. Sleep with or without clothes on? clothes

8. Who sleeps with you every night? depends on the day--just kidding.

9. Do long distance relationships work? can't say

10. How many times have you been pulled over by the police? once--dumb ass cop thought I was drunk.

11. Pancakes or French Toast? pancakes!

12. Do you like coffee? i'm addicted to coffee

13. How do you like your eggs? well done

14. Do you believe in astrology? i'm in taiwan-- it's hard not to believe

15. Last person you talked to on the phone? assstrrrri

16. Last person on your missed call list? a.ho

17. What was the last text message you received? message from alice

18. Mcdonalds or Burger King? mickey d's, only cuz there's a special promo going on

19. Number of pillows? 3 on my tiny twin bed.

20. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song. baby got back

21. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? strawberry.

22. Can you play pool? i'm a wanna be hustla

23. Do you know how to swim? depends on the depth of the water--- ok, no, i don't know how to swim

24. Favorite ice cream? Haggen Daz, coffee!

25. Do you like maps? *nodding*

26. Tell me a random fact: i can drop it like its hot

27. Ever play spin the bottle? nope

28. Ever attend a theme party? yah, baby

29. What is your favorite season? spring

30. Favorite quote? carpe deim

31. Last time you laughed at something stupid? last nite

32. What time did you wake up this morning? officially at 8:45am... was late again. damn!

33. Best thing about winter? SNOW!

34. Last time a cop gave you a ticket? years ago...

35. Name of your first pet? travis

36. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated? argh...

37. What do you do on weekdays? work and cali fitness

38. What are you doing this weekend? me + couch + tv + reruns of friends + domino's pizza.

39. Are You desperate for anything right now? sleeP!

I need a laptop...

My beloved Sony Vaio is dying on me! Most of the buttons don't work, as it is taking me a great deal of time to type this shit out. Anyway, I thought I would update my faithful readers with recent tidbits of my exciting life in Taiwan.

1. Congrats to Janet, who just got a hosting gig for the Discovery channel in Taiwan!

2. Bon Voyagie to Alice, who is going back home to Chile for a month (girl, yo'mom is scary!)

3. I bought a heater for my cold ass room.

4. Had the most expensive dinner at a French restaurant, which was fine cuz my company picked up the tab.

5. My company pushed forward a new working schedule. We now start work at 9:30am instead of 10am. I'm sure y'all don't think 30mins is a big deal, but shit, waking up 45 mins earlier(morning traffic)is hell.

6. It's cold outside. It's cold inside. I'm cold.

I need more coffee...

I Live: in Taipei (upper East side!)

I Work: way to much

I Talk: like a fob

I Wish: for world peace

I Enjoy: being a lazy bum

I Look: like a fob

I Find: certain ad agencies to be over-rated

I Smell: my morning coffee

I Listen: when I want to

I Hide: when I see my boss coming

I pray: when I see a crazy taxi driver on the street

I Walk: everyday

I Write: shit like this =P

I See: Taiwanese people

I Sing: pretty bad

I Laugh: at stupid stuff

I Can: stuff 30+ grapes in my mouth

I Watch: too much Friends

I Learn: No matter how much you've 'trained' a rabbit, she'll still shit everywhere

I dream: of traveling the world

I Want: to spend a year in Europe

I Cry: when I chop onions

I Burn: when I'm sprinting on the treadmill

I Read: gossip magazines

I Love: being a beach bum

I Sometimes: wanna skip work so that I can sleep more

I Touch: everything

I Hurt: when I burn

I Fear: dying a virgin

I Hope: to sleep at 9pm tonite

I Break: for kit kats

I Eat: a lot of junk food

I Quit: NEVER!

I Breathe: air

I Drink: tea

I Save: crap

I Hug: my roomies

I Meditate: when I'm at work

I Play: too little

I Miss: Taco Bell

I hold: for no one

I Forgive: myself for being lazy

I Drive: a Kymco 50cc scooter!

I Have: a huge pimple on my right cheek

I Don't: like my huge pimple on my right cheek

I Made: doo 10 mins ago on the 13th floor restroom (I'm on the 15th fl)

I Kiss: random guys in the clubs

I Believe: in miracles

I Owe: Janet 215NT in bills

I Feel: sleepy

I Know: I should stop messin around and do actual work

I Wonder: if I'll make it out of Taiwan alive

California Fitness

I see this lady on the ab bench everytime I hit the gym. I'm only noticing her cuz she wears these Matrix like shades while working out. At first, I thought, I'm in Taiwan, it's probably those tinted shades-- i can live with that. But they're not. Then I thought, okay, she's probably blind. But she's not. So either she has fucked up eyes or she's just weird. Plus, she's a freakin maniac on the bench! I have the urge to tap her on the shoulder and tell her to slow the fuck down. But I'm afraid she'll pull a Matrix move and bust my ass.

Matrix Lady, you've won this time....

There's a section on the 3rd floor where it's women only. But I don't think the locals know what its for. I mean, I see women chatting away on the cell phone while doing sit ups on the ab benches, some are sleeping on the benches and some are just stretching in questionable positions. Don't they know they can do all that for free at home?

Clips

http://www.devilducky.com/media/9882/

Kinda fucked up, but funny.



http://www.devilducky.com/media/22773/

All I can say is "Daammnnnnn.."

A Strangers Blog

I found this lady's blog and she is halirious! This is just one of her postings.


a shout-out to my boy joel b.

hello joel b., my name is amy. i live in the hampton roads area, and i believe you do as well. no, we've never met, but i feel so close to you. do you know why? wanna take a guess? that's right, i was the lucky individual who purchased your used laptop from a pawnshop in va beach yesterday!! like i said, we've never met, but i feel like you're my new best friend, now that i know so much about you....you know, your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number....you must have more faith in the human race than myself, to leave all that stuff on there. so i take it you are a soldier who just got back from iraq? i def. support the troops, but joel, i need to ask you a very serious question. why did you take all those disgustingly horrifying pictures, and then leave them on the computer??? did you forget to erase them? perhaps you thought you'd one day become nostalgic for the sight of melted iraqi's w/their brains spilling out all over the concrete? why the pictures of the human limbs scattered all over the road?? isn't that something you'd rather forget? i guess maybe you're just the sentimental type. to each their own joel b., to each their own.

let's talk about your taste in porn, shall we? when i opened the C drive and encountered a folder named, 'slap-happy' i eagerly opened it up, anticipating some jokes, perhaps some funny videos, music....i couldn't wait to see what my new friend had left for me!! what i encountered were 50 videos, each one titled, 'slap-happy.' i wasn't sure what i was looking at, but each one had a diff. girl's name in the title. i became a little worried at this pt, but i believed in you joel, and didn't think you'd lead me astray. 'click', i opened the 1st one. hmmmmm, it's a blond girl, and she's on her knees. ok, now she's giving some guy a blow-job. well, that's cool, i guess you must get lonely over there in iraq, nothing wrong w/some.......oh my lord, he's slapping her across the face, hard!!

SLAPSLAPSLAPSLAPSLAP!! 5 times, and now she's sucking his dick again. this continues for another min., then he slaps her across the face a few more times. she looks pissed off, but keeps blowing him. ok, well that was a little odd......maybe some of the other videos are better. let's try one towards the bottom of the list.....they couldn't possibly ALL be women sucking dick and getting slapped in the face, can they?? well, this video features a brunette girl wearing a toilet lid over her head. they are referring to her as 'the human toilet.' hmmmm. ok, now she's blowing the same dude.....and now he's slapping her across the face!! what the fuck joel, what the fuck. 50?? 50 blow-job, face-slapping vids? why no sex?? don't you want to see pussy?? you are an enigma, joel b.

one more question though....why would you leave all of those military documents in your documents folder? isn't that a breach of your military contract??
congratulations on making soldier of the month. i'm proud of you. keep up the good work!
2:14 AM


http://spaces.msn.com/members/thereasonimpissedoff/Blog/cns!1p9xpljl42vZ5R193qhpsTmw!2765.entry

TGIF

It's not that often that I'm in a chipper mood while being sick, but for some odd reason, I am now! ( must be the meds) It's the holiday season and once again, being in Taiwan makes me miss it even more. Sure I'm having Thanksgiving at a friends place and sure we'll be doing some sort of Secret Santa thingy and most likely out and about for New Years Eve, but the whole atmosphere just ain't the same.

Chinese New Years is coming up and I was thinking about coming home. I checked dates/prices and now that I actually processed everything--I don't think its worth it. Instead, I've looked into Malaysia. I have 9-10 days of vacation and to spend it on a sunny, secluded white sandy beach is too irresistable to pass up.

This means I will have to prolong my cravings for Taco Bell, Vivace's, and Safeway's All American Sub, but I think I'll manage. I was lookin forward to seeing everyone, but considering most, if not all, are working, I'll most likely be fiddle daddling at home doing nothing. If that's the case, then I'd rather be doing nothing at the beach. hehehe...

But not to fret, once ticket prices goes down, I'm sure I'll make another attempt to visit. Maybe during Spring--I should have more vacation days accummalated by then!

Over and out.

Nov 16th

Current mood: achey.congested.tired.blah.

I hate being sick....

Life's a hoot

Some people have all the luck....

They can walk a million miles without stepping on shit while other's find shit on the soles of their shoes on a daily basis. They can screw up a million times and still be complimented. They can say 'yes' to things they don't really know and get away with it. They can miss a million deadlines and have other people cover for them. They can find time to play games during crunch time and have the balls to ask other people to drop what they're doing to play along....

What the hell is going on?

Ugh

Current mood: nauseated.tired.constipated.

DAMN FOOD POISONING!!!

Sleepless nite

Taking a cue from Josh's blog:

10 years ago:
10 years ago, I was an extremely shy 14 year old 9th grader at Saghalie Jr. High. I think it was the year my parent's started GD and also the beginning where I kissed all my Saturday's and holidays good-bye for the next 7 years.

5 years ago:
5 years ago, I was 19 and living on my own for the first time. I was living in my studio apt (Rianna #214/Tuscany #313) and loved living by myself. Balling with the Indo's, potlucks, Jerky Girls, movie nights, SU law library and Pochi's would be the highlights of my college career.

1 year ago:
A year ago, I was trying to find a job in LA--things didn't quite work out and I headed back to Seattle. But my time was not wasted. I met cool people and had the best Thai food till this day-- THAI NAKORN, you rock! (you too, Tien!)

Yesterday:
Yesterday was a shitty day at work. I made a mistake on a project (forgot to follow up on a printing order) and since no one caught it, a diagram wasn't printed.... 2 steps forward and 5 steps back--shit~

5 Snacks I Enjoy:
1.) Chocolate chip cookies
2.) Bread
3.) String Cheese
4.) Sliced fruit (especially guava)
5.) Beef jerky

5 Songs I Know The Words To:
1.) "Shoop" - Salt N Pepper
2.) "Baby Got Back" - Sir Mix Alot
3.) “Forever Is Not Enough" - Sammi Cheng
4.) “Zhi Yue" - Ah Liang
5.) “Lucky" - Britany Spears

5 Things I Could Do With $100 million:
1.) Start a charity for neglected/abused kids
2.) Buy a condo in Florence, Paris, New York, London, SF and Seattle--oh, and an island in the Bahamas
3.) Invest in an useless product that'll sell millions on QVC
4.) Invest in real estate in Vegas
5.) Have my family live a comfortable life.

5 Places I Would Run Away To:
1.) Seattle
2.) Thailand - Koh Phi Phi
3.) Tuscany
4.) Hawaii
5.) Taiwan- Kenting

5 Things I Would Never Wear:
1.) Polka dots anything
2.) Mini skirt/short shorts with half my ass hanging out
3.) Ruffles/fur
4.) Animal prints
5.) 3+ inch heels

5 Favorite TV Shows:
1.) Friends
2.) Sex and the City
3.) Golden Girls
4.) Real World/Road Rules Challenges
5.) The Simpsons

5 Bad Habits:
1.) Laziness
2.) Speaking without thinking
3.) Procrastinater
4.) Not eating healthy
5.) Remembering useless info and forgetting important stuff

5 Things that Make me Happy:
1.) Family/Friends
2.) Exercising
3.) Traveling
4.) Watching Friends
5.) Drinking bubble tea and playing cards

5 Fictional Characters I Would Date:
1.) John Smith from Mr and Mrs Smith
2.) Zack from She's All That
3.) Zack from Saved By the Bell
4.) Rusty from Ocean's 11, 12
5.) Emmett from Legally Blonde 1, 2

Bowling Tournie

Happy Halloween!

Current mood: sleepy.

I should recap on what happened at my company's bowling tournement--yours truly whooped ass and over $100!! GO ME!

Halloween weekend: my roomies and went dressed up as playboy bunnies... will post pics up soon!

100% Fobulous Baby!

I recently splurged on an item---that's right! I bought a scooter! Sure, I know its dangerous and I might get hurt or hurt others and a whole bunch of blah, blah, blah's. But I'm looking at it as an investment.

Sadly, it is not yellow. It's your typical silver scooter, which I shall name "Quick Silver". (So unoriginal--and I'm in advertising too!)

I just hope it doesn't get stolen *knock on wood!*

Anyhoo, the scooter did set me back a bit. I've been working 3 months and I havne't saved a penny. Oh well, Rome wasn't built in a day.

All I can say is "Vroom, vrrrrroom baBy!"

Seaweed

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

Wasabi flavored seaweed is freakin SPICY!!!!!

Rested

Current mood: content

Went to bed at 9:30pm last nite and slept till 8am!!! Wish I could sleep like that every night.

[happy sigh]