Taiwanese girls: the new blonds?

Taiwanese girls are stupid.

I went to Carrefour (similar to Wal mart) to buy a cheapie DVD player. I asked the lady which of the DVD players can play pirated DVD's. She said that none of them can play them. The DVD players on hand can only play Taiwan made DVD's.

I'm not an electronic or anything, but I can smell horse shit a mile away. So I asked a guy and he goes "as long as the region is NTSC (or whatever), it'll be okay.

Strike 1 ladies.

I'm in the last stretch of the apt renovation and its down to the toilet. Ol Bertha is 30 years old and leaks water when flushed. It's time to retire ol Bertha. So I go to B&Q (similar to Home Depot) and there are 2 different toilet sizes -- 30cm and 40cm. Like hell I know the difference. (Jeff says since I'm American, I should get the 40cm. Are you trying to say that my ass is 10cm bigger than a local ass? =P)

I asked the wonderful people at B&Q how to measure the size and they didn't know. Seriously!?? Isn't this basic info? Their advice was to call up the local plumber and have them physically come over and measure it for me.

This morning, I called a couple of plumbers and asked them if they could come over and measure or tell me how. 1st guys response was "measure from the wall to the first bolt". Ok, that makes sense. 2nd response was "we have to remove the entire toilet to know the size". Yeah, that comment came from a lady. I checked on the net on how to measure (just to be safe) and the guy was el righto.

Strike 2.

This home deco company posted an ad on tealit and since they have a toilet promotion going on, I called to find out more details. Since the ad said they spoke English, I thought "yes!". A girl answered and I asked if she could speak English b/c its easier for me to communicate what I'm lookin for. She said "sure, I can understand. no problem." After a min of me explaining their toilet promotion and wanting to know further details, she goes "um... don't understand. hold on" and gets a guy with decent enough English on the phone.

Strike 3.

Moral of the story? Taiwanese girls are idiots.

Checklist

This is my favorite part of moving into a new place.

FURNITURE SHOPPING!!!!!
[I gotta say, shopping does put me in a better mood]

Couch ....... check
Bed frame ....... check
TV stand ....... check
Dining table + 4 chairs ....... check
Wardrobe ....... check
4-cube drawer (2) ....... check
Carpet (3) ....... check
Window blinds (2) ...... check
Fridge ........ check
42in plasma tv ....... check (!!!!!)
Air con
Mattress ....... check
Storage racks ....... check
Dvd player ......... check
Floor lamp (2)
Coffee table ........ check
Shoe rack
Kitchen crap
Bathroom crap ........ check
Microwave ...... to be donated by Julia

What else can I afford......

Frenemies

Work has become a MTV reality series. Seriously~ Time to form alliances, speak nothing but lies and sleep with as many co-workers as possible. Oh wait, that would be for US audiences.

Since I'm in Taiwan, it's more like: back stabbing, long lost siblings and an unexpected terminal illness that will make people forget/forgive their petty differences and the world will become drama free once again.

Da da dummmmm!

Village Idiot

If we were living in the 1950's, I'd be the village idiot. Turns out, I didn't need to strip paint, much less buy the paint removal paste. All I had to do was paint over the existing paint with 2-3 coats. I should've realized this earlier, but I thought to myself "the base is a grey and I want to use a lighter color, I probably have to remove the grey first..." That makes sense right? Plus, instead of going 25-30 mins to Taipei county (B&Q), there's a freakin paint shop like 2 mins away. FRICK!

[and the village idiot award goes to ......]

So the past 2 weeks of pain, agony and almost crippling my mah jong hands, were for nothing. Rome was definitely not built in a day and now I know why. But it's all good. I finished the living room, dining room, cleaned and started on the tv room. I should be all done with the painting tomorrow..still have the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom left.

Gunbate!!!

Home Improvements

hands.hurt.from.stripping.paint.

And get this, I'ma going back to Chestnut. @@

The plus side to all of this besides having a place of my own? Toned shoulders and arms. Whoo-hoo!

So much for Chestnut....

Before




After



I'm not really feelin the "Chestnut" color. On the color pallet, it looks like a milk tea color, but when painted, its kinda peachy. Yuck~ I think I'm gonna opt for something darker... like mud. Better color contrast with the yucky yellow partion walls.

Xtreme Home Make-Over

I've become Martha Stewart/Ty Pennington/Tim Allen rolled into one. Why Tim Allen? Cuz I'm doing everything myself and I know I'm gonna screw up somewhere/somehow. Lol~ Where's Al Boren when I need him?

After months of searching for an apt, my god dad tells me that he has an empty 2 bedroom place not too far from my grandmas. The only catch is that its hella old --- and its on the 5th floor without an elevator.

I've been 'renovating' the place to the best of my abilities and fundings. Stripping paint is not fun. Painting is fun. Glancing at the ghetto ass kitchen and bathroom makes me a lil nauseated. But replacing the toilet and stove will make me get that happy place.

I have an electrican coming on Wednesday to install track lights for the bedroom and living room. Can't wait! I'll post before/after pics soon.

Filipino! Filipino!

Pics are up!

The rest of the pics will be posted on my msn space.

Sand Everywhere

It's my last day on the island. I've come to respect the lifestyle the locals have. Most, if not all, are simple farmers/fishermans. All smile and wave whenever I walk past them on the street. They say that I am beautiful, but the fact is, nothing is more beautiful than the geniune warmth these folks possess. It's quite infectious, but I know once I get back to Taiwan, no one will smile back or wave hello to me... I know I'll miss the people here.

The solitarity of the past 4 days has given me a sense of peace that I haven't felt in a long time. Problems ceased to exist and because it was so quiet and calming, it took a while to get used to. Hot water, tv, internet and a working toilet are pure luxury items that for the most part, I went without during my stay here.

I can sit on the beach and stare into the ocean for hours -- almost like living in my own world. But the laughter from the kids playing the water will bring me back to reality and I'll look around and smile to myself how lucky I am to be on this oasis.

I leave tomorrow morning back to Cebu, where I'll stay for 2 nites before heading back to Taipei.

Will post pictures once I'm back!

Stuck in paradise

eImagine an island off the northern coast of Cebu called Bantayan Island. Yes, I'm on this little paradise -- its goregous, the locals are really nice and there's absolutely NOTHING to do! I sure know how to pick em... lol!~

It's a great place for peace and quiet and that's pretty much it! No moon light parties or bars that open late, this is the real deal if you want nothing but peace. It's my 2nd day here and I'm already going nuts! This only reaffirms taht I am a city girl at heart. Oh how I miss the skyscrapers, subways and Starbucks.

Side note: it is pretty endearing to see little flippino boys sing "love makes me suicidal" on the beach.

Dirty Mistress?

Ok... Impulse purchases are bad~

I've decided to sell my iPod Classic. Didn't even last a week with me... sigh~

I had the most interesting cab ride to work this morning. Interesting is a nice way to put -- I was sexually harassed. Lol~ I'm laughing cuz it was funny/annoying/why me sorta thing. So I was running late for work and missed the bus so I hailed a cab. The driver asked if I had a bf. I said that work was my bf. (deja vu anyone?) He said that I should find a nice boy and date, blah blah blah. Then he goes and says "Wanna be my mistress?" o.O"

You can imagine the rest of the cab ride...

Driver: Come on, be my mistress. But you can't tell my wife. (a second later) I'm kidding by the way...

Me: yeah, whatever.

Driver: Going anywhere for CNY?

Me: Philippines.

Driver: Really? Can I come too? You need a man when you go on trips like this. But my passport is expired. Call me next time and I'll go with you.

Me: Ok, I'll make sure to tell your wife.

Driver: *chuckle chuckle* You can't tell my wife. This is between you and me. Btw, I'm kidding. Just joking with you.

Me: Sure.

Driver: You must be rich, going to the Philippines. How much do you make a month?

Me: nope, not rich. Its just cheaper to go the Philippines.

Driver: You are something. You should find a nice boy. How old are you? 20 something?

At this point, I'm more annoyed than entertained....

Driver: You should get a bf, seriously. A nice girl like you should be with someone. I'm available if you want. I'm 180cm. That's tall enough for you right? How tall are you? 150something? Girls like to wear heals so my height is perfect... especially if we wanted to kiss.

Me: *rolling my eyes and trying hard not to gag* Um, yeah, 180cm is good. My ex was around 180cm.

Driver: Oh really? Your ex was that tall? Then you'll consider me right? I'll treat you nice. But can't let my wife know. Wow, Philippines, must be nice. Do you know how to swim?

Me: nope.

Driver: Really? That's a shame, cause I can take you out some time and go swimming. I can even teach you. But remember, its between you and me cuz if my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

Me: right.

Driver: When are you going to the philippines?

Me: tomorrow.

Driver: Wow! Too bad I can't go with you. Give me a call when you leave.

Me: Ok, I'll make sure to tell your wife.

Driver: Ha-ha......


After 30 mins of 'this', I was finally at work.

Seriously.... >.<

Cough~

I think I'm coming down with something. EVERYONE has been getting sick and I feel its like the plague. I'm drinking "British Spearmint Tea with Honey" at this hole in the wall coffee shop. Tea + a plate of bread is hella expensive! Oh well.... Free wireless is what brought me here.

I made an impulse purchase yesterday. I bought the iPod Classic (80G) and I'm thinkin about selling it. Lol~ Its a nifty lil thing, but I hate how everything has to go through iTunes. I thought it'd be nice to have on the trip -- watch a lil Lost or Sex on the beach.

10 things you didn't know about women part II

Esquire mag rocks!

SuChin Pak:

1. We always notice your shoes. Not because we're judging your size by theirs (although there is some merit to that) but because we're wary of anything adorned with buckles, tassels, or faux leather stripes.

2. When we say, "Just tell me the truth. I won't get mad," we're totally lying.

3. If you won't hold our hands in public, we won't blow you in private.

4. Yes, we would sleep with your best friend.

5. And yes, we too are afraid you're going to lose your hair.

6. Cologne is for frat boys. Showers are for men.

7. If you're dating a woman over thirty, she will have envisioned your wedding halfway through the first date -- even if it's going horribly.

8. Don't be a pussy: A text message, e-mail, or instant message does not replace a phone call.

9. Nothing is less sexy than a man who counts his carbs. Skip the gym and work it out in bed.

10. If I have to ask for it, go fuck yourself.

-------

Sandra Oh:

1. If you want to date an Asian sister, do not do the following: (a) Tell me about your trip to Asia and how you taught English there. (b)Tell me how much you just looove Chinese food. (c) Practice your Japanese on me. I'm Korean.

2. When we're fighting about the toothpaste cap, we're not really fighting about the toothpaste cap. We're fighting about that thing that happened three or four months ago at what's-his-face's house when you neglected that major issue we have — which, by the way, is fundamental.

3. When we have been pleasured and you haven't yet (and it's your turn), no matter what we say, make it quick.

4. We have an infinite vocabulary for colors. Fuchsia is not pink, nor is it red. Khaki is not green, nor is it brown. There is more than blue and green on the color wheel.

5. If it's over, just tell us. If you're sitting around afraid of hurting us, it only makes the relationship so unbearable that we have to break up with you. We're actually stronger than you think, so even though we may cry more than you do, we're way more resilient.

6. When you ask us if we're angry and we say we're fine, we're lying.

7. This one I can't tell you.

8. It doesn't matter how big the bauble, how fabu the restaurant — the time you spent on that pencil drawing of our eye or that haiku written on the vintage hotel stationery you found in Omaha is what truly steals our hearts.

9. You know that coworker of yours with the huge boobs whom you've fantasized us having a threesome with? Ask her.

10. So, you want to know the surefire way to get laid? Start by cleaning the house.

Take my breath away....

"Borrowing" a quote from one of Deb's blog entries.

[Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away...]

Makes me wanna break out in song by singing "Take my breath away~~~~" and also acting out the famous line "No, you can be my wingman..." lol~

But seriously, the article is worth the read itself. http://soyouwanna.blogspot.com/2007/12/life-101.html

Lookin for a place to squat

I've been on the hunt for an apt. Its a slow and painful process. I could show you pics of places that I've seen, but it would only depress you. I saw this awesome apt last nite. It was a loft and had an AMAZING view of the city. The price was a bit too steep for me and the landlord lady wouldn't budge on the price. Sigh~ Such a shame.

2 more weeks till Chinese New Year! We only have 6 days off this year which I thought was horseshit cuz we had 9 the previous years. But after googling Bantayan Island, I turned my frown upside down. Can't wait to frolic my pastey white ass on the soft white sandy beaches. [insert happy sigh]

Track Team

How silly of me to not mention the funniest thing that happened over le weekend.

So after brunch, Queenie wanted to do a lil shopping but had to stop by her office real quick. I, too, had to stop by my office to pick up my ride and since my office was closer (well, not really) we decided to hop on a bus.

Bus 214 goes straight to my office and as we were crossing the street, I saw bus 214 rounding the corner and franticly looked for the damn bus stop. I saw it -- 15 yards away and the bus was creeping up fast! So what did we do? We ran like like Forrest! I think the bus driver saw us running from a far cuz when I got on, he looked at me and goes "You're on the track team huh?" o.O"

Funny shit.

Side note: I went back to the apt thats in my fav nite market... Had to see again in daylight. I think I'ma take it! I was calculating the costs and for that location + water + gas + cable + internet + trash, its a pretty sweet deal. Home, sweet home?

Mocha + Apple Pie

Computer fixed! I can type all the 'd's my lil heart desires! ho ho ho　

Now that my 'd's fixed, I can't seem to type in Chinese. Fuck a duck. I think its time to retire ol Mac and opt for something else. I've been eyeing the ASUS EEPC, but I also want something that has a bigger hard drive/memory. Maybe a Dell?

My company had its year end party last Friday. It was held at the Westin Hotel and boy was it ghetto fabulous! LOL~ Apparently we hired dancers that looked and dressed like strippers and it was just ghetto. Food was pleasant enough and the red wine just kept on coming. I know you're not suppose to down wine, but everyone kept saying "cheers" and when people say "cheers", you down that sucker.

The dinner ended around 10:30pm and our lovely marketing director (who I assumed was intoxicated) moved the after party to his much loved Barcode. I mean, there's nothing to complain about cuz we dont' have to pay for shit. The place was packed as usual and we had champagne and Grey Goose and it was just bad bad bad. I don't know why the locals love to down everything, its not like we were taking shots.

Anyhoo, after one too many glasses of champagne and second hand smoke, I snuck off with a couple of the girls and we went to NY Bagel to unwind.

Saturday was a bit of a blur. Had brunch at Grandma Nitti's with some LB folks and spent the afternoon running errands. It's Sunday now and I think I'm still recovering from Friday nite.

Oh, apt update. I saw this really cool studio near my favorite nite market and I'm thinkin about taking it. It's not too big -- I'd say 300sq ft and it has a mini kitchen! Rent is decent cuz it includes all the utilities +trash + cable + internet. The catch is that its on the 6th floor without an elevator.

tick tock.....

Izzle Tastic

Sometimes it surprises me at how small the city is. I think there's roughly 3 million folks cramped up in the greater Taipei area and people are just everywhere! They're like cockroaches -- in every street corner, alley, MRT...

I had lunch, more like afternoon tea, at my favorite sushi place yesterday. I noticed a white couple sitting across from me. This might not seem out of the norm in the states, but in a place where everyone looks alike, white people stand out. Fast forward 5 hours later, I see the same couple at a second round movie theater. Ain't that something? 3 million people in the city and I see the same folks twice in the same day at two different locations. Maybe they're stalking me? Nah, its not like I'm rich and famous....

Things to do today:

1. Get my damn laptop fixed. My "d" doesn't work so I've been copying/pasting it for the past 2 months. Plus, I think poor Mac has a virus. No, I did not visit any porn sites.

2. Apt hunt.

3. Hit the gym.

4. Get a new wallet.

So many things to do, so little time. Its already 1:18pm and so far, I've done absolutely nothing.

Wow, I actually saw a cute guy walk by. Who would've thunk.... In the past 30 seconds, I just saw a pirate wannabe, balding guy that was majorly nippin, interestingly mixed/matched colors, folks wearing hella layers, folks wearing t-shirts and shorts... ah, the joys of having a window seat at the local Starbucks.

Saturday Afternoon

After weeks of no avail, I finally got a seat at MY Starbucks. This isn't my favorite Starbucks in the city, but its the one with the best seats for people watching. This place is so packed that being the nice person that I am, allowed 3 different peeps to sit at MY table while they waited for other tables to open up. I should start chargin per seat.

I'm lookin at ticket prices to Singapore next month and it is HELLA expensive! I think I may have to change my travel plans and head to the Philippines instead. LOL! Either place is fine with me. I just need the sun and a beach.

I've been apt hunting lately and it is freakin hard to find a decent place. The apts here are really different than the one's in the states. There's no kitchen for one thing and most places, its just a bedroom + bathroom. The room itself is small and not that I need hella room, but I'd like my own kitchen or something roomier than a 12x12 room. I saw this really cool rooftop pad last week. I'd say its roughly aroun 550sq ft, which is HUGE, but no kitchen. OIY!

Happy 2008!

Facebook has Oregon Trail. I died from exhaustion right before finishing. That's just horseshit.

Anyhoo, its time for new year resolutions!!

1. Exercise more. New gym. New workout routine. Bring it on!

2. HK, Malaysia, Japan, Seattle, SF and Bali. Watch out world, I'ma coming!

3. Surround myself with positive folks cuz life is short and who needs negativity bullshit.

4. Tone down on the road rage. There will always be stupid drivers and one of these days I know I'm gonna get a whoopin by callin some mafia dude a fucker for cutting me off.

5. Try not to have any kind of rage.... Its kinda hard to keep calm when you're walking down a street and the people in front of you are walking in Matrix-like slo-mo. And when you move left/right to pass them, they too, move left/right. It's like they can read minds! I wonder if they can read my mind now. Fuckers~

6. Try not to make fun of the locals as much. I think this was one of my resolutions from the past. So why am I posting it again? I was at the nite market couple nites ago and this prissy girl stopped mid-track and started hyperventilating/hissy fit cuz she thought she a saw a cockroach. Lady, come on now! Its the freakin street! I felt bad for the bf.

7. I've always wanted to take a cooking class and now that I have the income/time, tis the year to make it happen!

8. Try not to succumb to these little death sticks. I gotta admit, its a bit hard not to lite one up when I'm surrounded by them 24/7. Ugh.

9. Read ... at least A BOOK this year. I'm starting Amy Tan's "Saving Fish From Drowning". Was never really into the whole "Joy Luck Club", but I'll give Amy another chance. I also bought Nicholas Sparks' "Dear John". His books are my ultimate guilty pleasure. Lrrrrr~

10. I'm gonna leave this as a open-ended resolution.


Happy 2008 everyone!